


routine check

by Transistors



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Crossdressing, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Lingerie, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 13:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14309787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Transistors/pseuds/Transistors
Summary: Albert has a routine when it comes to finishing off work and going home, with a few exceptions in regards to whether or not his partner is working himself to the bone that day. He has it down to a T, given how simple it is, just to give himself some order for his own peace of mind.And, of course, the only person to really add a step five to the routine is, as always, Dale Cooper himself.





	routine check

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I hope you like Crossdressing!!!!!!!
> 
> I've been wanting to write Cooper in lingerie for a long ass time. This is rated M because it's mostly due to the fact that Cooper is like, trying to be seductive at Albert and Albert at some points appreciates his physical beauty. There is also implied sex that is never detailed, bc I don't wanna.

Coming home has a routine, steps to follow, and Albert has them down to pat for his own sanity: step one, he finishes work and makes sure everything is properly set aside, step two, he makes sure to stop by Gordon Cole and try not to lose his head as the man struggles to hear him, step three, he checks to make sure Cooper has stopped working, and step three-b is to force Cooper home.

Step four is just going home, where four-b is going home with Cooper. The man isn’t in his office today and when he has asked around, everyone responds with a simple “he went home ten minutes ago” and Albert holds back a sigh of relief. That man is a twenty-man handful and is more like a sheep needing to be herded when he gets into his ‘groove’... that isn’t, of course, counting on the fact that Albert has had to lie to people that Cooper isn’t anything special.

Solving several difficult cases in a row just through pure psychic powers alone is not something Albert wants to explain to anyone and he hopes Cooper appreciates all the effort he goes through to make sure no one takes the man away to a secret off-set Blue Rose department to experiment on his brain.

Whatever; that isn’t important right now. He adjusts his bow-tie in the bathroom mirror before he makes his way out and to his car, passing through some of the newer agents and the more frazzled, tired veterans of their agency. He gives them all curt nods and a blank look as he passes by, making sure to be quick and respectful to them as to not take up their time when they surely have better work to do. The newer ones, of course, are tagging along with the superiors to learn... and the corner of his lips twitch.

Cooper and him were once in this very same situation. New and fresh-eyed, excited to be working, and ever ready to become a vital part of the investigation agency. Now, Albert is jaded, and Cooper is still fresh-eyed and awake as ever.

He supposes that is why he is _practically_ married to the man. Living in the same condo as him, working the same job with him, sharing their coffee breaks together and even going to the library to learn about Tibet just to indulge in Cooper’s new obsession... he even watches some of the horror shows that he is into, even though Albert secretly [to everyone but Cooper] prefers romance. He drifts off into his thoughts as he enters his car and buckles up, hands on the wheel and mind elsewhere as he starts driving back.

It isn’t going to take that long at all; just half an hour at most, and that is enough to let him mull over today’s cases and what he has been given to work with. Cooper has been murmuring on and off about a blonde teenager in some small town being murdered – not today, of course, but he keeps saying it in this far-off, odd voice that it is going to happen... soon. Sooner than they might both expect.

If Albert is anyone else, he is sure that he will have scoffed at Cooper and will have called him insane for even suggesting such a thing. But case after case after case of it all just being solved by Cooper’s uncanny and remarkable intuition has changed his mind... and, of course, the whole thing serves to just  _frazzle_ him.

His anxiety has spiked, for sure, and he is going to need to take some time alone to try and soothe them over before he bursts with misplaced anger at Cooper for just telling him what he knows; it is always when the predictions spill from his partner’s lips that Albert has to especially hold back from lashing out at the other.

He hasn’t done anything to deserve it... everyone else, however? Can stuff it.

His thoughts end up being interrupted when he notices he is at his address and he heads towards the parking, slow and steady in the dark of the night and Albert quickly makes his way in to catch the elevator ride up; heavy clouds are gathering in the sky, and he doesn’t want to be drenched through. He reaches into his pocket to grab at his key, free hand fixing up his tie once more, and he passes by some of the more nocturnal neighbours  while doing his best to avoid eye-contact.

Some of these people are weirder than Cooper can be at times, and Albert does not want to start another yelling match at near midnight. They already have enough complaints as it is, and he is tired enough to cause a scene that he normally reserves for places that won’t kick them out from their nice condo.

The door unlocks easily and he is quick to close all the locks, his briefcase being dropped off onto the nearby armchair and coat placed on the hanger. He loosens up his tie and then his shirt, feet automatically taking him to Cooper and his bedroom to change and the moment he opens the door Albert comes to a sudden stop.

“Cooper.” Albert says, hands on his shirt buttons and Cooper looks back at him with a face that brightens up too much at the sight of him, looking like the sun in the dimly, candle lit room that he has set up. He blinks a few times, eyes disinterestedly wandering about the room before the thought sneaks up to him that _where did they get all these candles? And when?_

“... Did you buy all these candles from the crazy candle lady a floor above us, Cooper?” he says tersely and Cooper just smiles toothily, as though that is all the answer that Albert needs – not that his partner is wrong. The room smells, refreshingly, of oranges and mangoes, his two favourites, and Albert looks at Cooper with a raised eyebrow.

They both shift about; Cooper still silently grinning and Albert eyeing him like one would a feral animal. He crosses his arms, shirt unbuttoned a bit and jacket hanging from one crossed arm as he, finally, gives in and asks: “how long have you been posed like that, Cooper?”

_That_ being the fact that his lover is currently lounging on the bed on his side. His fingers splay out on the blanket, barely illuminated by the flames nearby and Cooper rises, his movement so  uncharacteristically elegant  that Albert hopes the flush on his face isn’t obvious when he twists his barely clothed body around.

Heels push against the blanket, both hands resting at the front as Cooper faces him with a sweet, kind smile which is at complete odds with how he is presenting himself. The black lace hangs from his chest, not made for a man with pecs like Cooper, though Albert has to steel himself and keep his eyes focused on the other’s as to not gaze away. “Half an hour, Albert.” Cooper says a bit too proudly, irises twinkling with mischief, and Albert looks away.

He watches as Cooper sits up down, legs splaying out to the side and his garter-belt and garters are on clear display; sheer silk that hugs his thighs a bit too tightly, probably on the verge of tearing apart, and Albert breathes sharply and slowly, trying to keep his mind cool. “Half an hour?” Albert asks. “While I was driving? Is this why you went home early, Cooper? So you could try and surprise me,  _again,_ with your hobby? I should let you know by now that I am very much used to your antics... and I should also let you know that I don’t know  _why_ you had to be reminded of that.”

It doesn’t affect Cooper much, if at all; the smile on his face only seems to grow wider and Albert strains to not stare at the way his hand rests on his inner thigh, painfully close to his crotch and he counts to twenty just to keep himself distracted with something mundane. “Albert,” Cooper says a bit too knowingly, “you are  _terrible_ at hiding how you feel from me, you know that?”

There is no way he can answer that without letting Cooper know that he has absolutely won, though it ends up not mattering because the moment the man’s arm extends up and he crooks his finger, beckoning Albert to come forward, he finds himself quietly obeying the unspoken order. The bed dips even further with the extra weight, fake nails  scraping at his cheek gently as Cooper cups his cheek.

The kiss they share is gentle, slow, and Albert reaches out to embrace Cooper only to have his hands rest on his shoulders instead, feeling far too awkward to hug him when the man is practically naked before him. There is a puff of laughter against his mouth, then Cooper is stroking the back of his head extremely gently before backing away.

“I’m tired, Cooper.” Albert says wearily as he sees the way Cooper’s expression changes; hungry, domineering almost, and he is silenced from saying anything further with another soft kiss. Hands slide his jacket off before throwing it to the side before they then slide under his shirt, pushing it upwards by a little before they back away.

Hot kisses are pressed all on his neck and he hums softly, the gentle affection lulling him a bit. “Let me take care of everything then.” he hears after a period of silence and physical attention, and Albert rolls his eyes but strokes Cooper’s hair as a silent grant of permission and he lets free his own small smile at the little chuckle he can feel, rather than hear, against his skin. “Thanks, Albert.”

  


  


The next morning, where Cooper has to drive them to work, everyone takes immediate notice to the small limp Albert has and he tells them all that he simply slipped on a puddle last night because of the rain that, eventually, came. Everyone takes it with ease, though convincing Cole of it is harder when he has to shout it out to the world.

At their first break, Albert ends up asking a question he never manages to last night thanks to the ferocious eagerness that Cooper has displayed, and he thanks the fact that no one is around to hear him say, “Agent, how were you able to buy all that without someone getting suspicious at you for it?”

“Oh, that’s simple. The owner owed me after I helped her out, and I got her to give everything to me for free. She didn’t even ask why! I don’t think she wanted to bite the FBI hand that fed her.”

“Sometimes, Cooper, you are an enigma wrapped up in a mystery, soaked with eccentricity.”

**Author's Note:**

> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/starrelia) | [My Tumblr.](https://masculinedevil.tumblr.com)


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